


diary (I really wanna burn you)

by skkaie29



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Pining, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2020-10-10
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:40:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26929048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skkaie29/pseuds/skkaie29
Summary: jongin has been penning down his feelings in a diary for the longest time ever. feelings mostly towards his best friend. what happens when his best friend discovers that diary of his?
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Oh Sehun, Kim Jongin | Kai/Oh Sehun
Kudos: 15





	diary (I really wanna burn you)

_ “sehun, chanyeol, baekhyun, i’ll see you all tomorrow! stay safe!” i yelled, waving frantically towards them. they waved back, before we went our own ways. _

_ well, this is pretty cliche. let me introduce myself. i’m kim jongin, 16, and, as you probably already can guess, i have a crush on my best friend. wow, that’s such a surprise, right? anyways, i’ll see you later, i have to do my homework. _

_ - _

_ today was fun, i got to hang out with the gang once again, although we have exams coming up. ah, i really can’t take it, the more i hang out with sehun, the deeper i fall. you’re an inanimate object, yet i’m talking to you like you’re a therapist of sorts. well, i’m not really talking to you. i’m communicating to you. okay, i don’t know what i’m saying. but future jongin, watch out, keep your feelings in check mister! _

_ - _

_ today, i asked sehun what he would do if baekhyun or chanyeol confessed to him. he just smiled, and blushed. could he have figured i like him? he blushed… maybe i’m getting my hopes up. he can’t possibly like me back, can he? _

_ - _

_ hi again! today was cool, for the most part, but i saw baekhyun and sehun exchanging… glances from across the room. i don’t know what’s going on… but if they like each other… well… i wish them the best! they are my best friends after all :) _

_ - _

_ today, chanyeol pulled me aside to ask about sehun and baekhyun. i did tell him about the things i’ve been observing, but didn’t tell him about my more-than-developed feelings for one of them. chanyeol shrugged and then smiled, saying, if it’s real then that would be dope, i’ve been shipping them for a while!  _

_ maybe i should give up, it’s not like i look cute as a couple with him anyways… _

_ - _

_ today, i caught baek and sehun hugging… weirdly. they looked like they were about to kiss, before they saw me. oh well, i guess you can’t have everything in this world. it’s just a crush, but why did it hurt so much?  _

_ - _

_ well, hey! well, as expected, sehun confessed to baek in front of me and chanyeol. of course, he accepted, and faking a smile is so damn hard, when you see the love of your life just confess to someone else. aren't i selfish? hah, i probably am. i shouldn’t get to attached, he’s taken now anyways. _

_ - _

_ hi diary, i’m going over to sehun’s for a sleepover today! i’m excited, the squad can hang out again :D exams finally finished, too! i’ll probably write an entry at their house when everyone’s asleep, like a secret agent. agent kim, signing off! _

_ - _

_ it’s so quiet, i feel uneasy. i shouldn’t have come, i’m just falling for sehun harder day by day. god, i feel so bad for saying this, but sometimes i wished baekhyun didn’t exist. but it’s my fault, i should’ve made a move earlier. it’s not baekhyun’s fault, it’s not. jongin, you’re to blame. not him. he’s innocent. but why can’t i stop crying? _

_ - _

“okay, bye everyone! that was a fun sleepover!” jongin smiled, before walking away from the house. but… something was missing. he couldn’t pinpoint what it was, though. oh well. next time.

just as he reached his house, he got a call from sehun.

“uh… jongin, you left your notebook here.”  _ crap.  _ as jongin ran back to sehun’s house, he prayed that he didn’t read the contents of the diary. if he did, he’d be done for. frick, those lewd thoughts he pinned down, the feelings, the hatred, the love,  _ sehun would see it all. _

jongin panted as he rang the doorbell, locking his eyes with an expressionless sehun, cold-faced baekhyun and a confused chanyeol.

“here you go.” sehun muttered, shoving the diary into jongin’s hands.  _ ouch. that hurt. _

“i… okay. thank you for returning it to me.” jongin said, voice barely louder than a whisper, he could feel the tears threatening to fall. no words were said, but yet he knew, he was officially kicked out of the squad. he knew, he shouldn’t have let his feeling escalate.

-

_ 2 years later _

jongin made eye contact with the three. no words were spoken, they looked away as fast as they met eyes, like total strangers.

he wished things didn’t change. he wished, god, he wished everything would return to normal.

but that’s just wishful thinking, isn’t it?

that darn diary.

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> if you're wondering, the POV in italics is as if you're the diary, and Jongin is talking to you (his diary). hope that clears up any confusion?


End file.
